I am an artist.
I am a listener.
I am a shaper of emotions.
I love the way stories shape our lives. I love the influence of an inspiring story.
I love creating something out of nothing.
I love people’s lives touching other people’s lives.
I love watching people. I love wondering about what’s going on in their lives. I love wondering about their story.
Why can’t I just love the way I am, because that’s how God created me. He made me to love these things.
I love character development – taking something ugly and making it beautiful. Suffering and pain making us stronger.
Why can’t I just do what I love because I love it?
Maybe there’s something I find about myself in doing what I love that makes me learn and love God more.
I have denied myself of things I have loved, things I know I would enjoy. I didn’t think I was worthy of anything beautiful or satisfying: Relationships. Books. Writing. Loving. Living. Loving myself.
For this question, I have to dig down deeper within myself.
Why do I think I’m not worthy of beauty or love or truth?
I think I feel that if I look too hard at myself, I’ll find something ugly. Something repulsive. Something unloveable. So I fill my life with busyness. So that I don’t have to look too hard. But these lies I believe don’t take into account the truth of Scripture. The truth that God himself is in me now. The most beautiful loving, truthful, honest, loveable being now resides in me. His Spirit is united with mine. So my body is still dead, but my spirit is life, because His spirit is life, and fills me with life.
Beautiful, passionate, truthful, loveable life.
In this, I’m free.
Free to love. Free to create. Free to find beauty, to be beautiful. Free to imagine the best life can offer.
This is my story and I want to share it.